I just had a grueling long day, and soon found myself sobbing right along with them.
Something had to give.
Oh, and I wasseven months pregnantwith a third girl.
At least that’s how I saw it.
That night, when my husband finally did get home, I gave him an earful.
We needed to see a couples counselor.
Working with a therapist to create a schedule of household responsibilities saved our marriage and my sanity.
I wish more parents knew how helpful it can be and had the resources to do the same.
Here’s how counseling helped usnurture our relationshipafter having kids.
Instead, I was told to reflect on my actions.
I realized that I had rarely asked for help.
I expected my husband to read my mind and assist me where and when needed.
Meanwhile, he thought that I had everything covered.
“One partner is left carrying the brunt of the daily responsibilities and eventually grows weary.”
Seeing a therapist helped us realize where our different expectations and the differences in our workloads came from.
Getting the kids dressed and out the door was also something we needed to work on.
But after counseling, that all changed.
But one of the most significant changes that we made was hiring help.
In many cases, people would rather put more on their plate than risk conflict with their partner.
But this approach only continues the vicious cycle of feeling overwhelmed, depleted and isolated.
Be realistic about what you’re able to do and what you need.
Prioritize time for yourself and time as a couple.
As a wife and mother of three, my self-care regimen was nonexistent.
“Self-carewill look different for everyone,” Watson says.
The same goes for making special time for you and your partner.
“It doesn’t matter what you do.
Just do something together that makes you both happy that doesn’t involve your kids.”
This also helps to prevent straying away from the schedule over time."
It’s also important to remain flexible.
double-check the changes are fair, balanced and feel right for you and your partner, Dr. Franklin advises.
Remember that you’re a team
It’s easy for resentment to build between you and your partner.
By seeing a counselor, I was able to recognize him as my teammate once again.
Seeing a therapist was one of the best decisions we made.
We’re both happier, and our marriage is stronger because of it.
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