Major update to include the latest research, clinical guidelines and practice recommendations.
Yes, toddlerhood is a time of learning and discovery.
That’s when many parents turn to that tried-and-true tactic: the time-out.
break from a negative situation.
Heres how to use time-outs for toddlers wisely.
How do I put my toddler in a time-out?
You dont want to swoop and give a time-out without a heads-up.
Then take him to his time-out spot.
Leave your toddler in his time-out space for the designated time.
Set a kitchen timer or the alarm on your phone.
Then re-set the timer.
Then get your toddler involved in another activity.
Then leave your toddler there, sticking close by to double-check your tot wont climb on the chair.
If your child does stand on the chair or does something dangerous, stop the behavior.
But do it matter-of-factly, without talking or making eye contact.
Time-out corner
Another classic is a time-out corner.
Do the same thing youd do with a chair.
Place it in a dull, toy-less place and start the timer.
While in the room, sit with your little rebel in silence.
How long should a time-out be?
But it depends on your toddler.
You might be able to get the message across to your 2-year-old in 30 seconds.
The bottom line: The shorter the better.
Otherwise, your toddler will be more tempted to wander away.
What age can you start time-outs?
When can you start time-outs?
After your child has turned 2, say most parenting pros.
(There are other ways to set limits for younger toddlers.)
This helps your child take back some control of the situation.
There are otherdiscipline strategiesthat can work better (like enlisting your toddlers help in scrubbing the wall).
Stay calm.Easier said than done, we know.
But if you are yelling Thats it!
Be consistent.If you use a time-out for hitting once, then keep it up.
Otherwise, your toddler will become confused.
Also just give one warning.
Threatening a time-out over and over will just teach your toddler you dont mean what you say.
Keep the culprit in sight (no closets or darkened rooms!)
but away from the fun.
Keep explanations short.Guide your child to his time-out spot, and (calmly) tell him to sit.
If he wanders off, escort him back as many times as it takes and reset the timer.
There are many other discipline strategies.
The downsides of time-outs for toddlers
Time-outs get a bad rap.
Critics say they dont teach kids self-control.
Instead, they leave kids feeling more isolated and angrier than before.
Or try another spot.
Or wait until hes older and less fidgety.
In that case, ignoring or distracting him might be a better choice.
Your toddler may get more upset or scream louder.The point of time-outs is for kids to cool down.
You might briefly state your rule again, but you keep your explanations short.
Then you talk about his feelings and what just happened.
You still keep explanations short but the focus is on empathy.
The idea behind time-ins is that your child wont feel isolated because youre sitting together.
By helping him calm down, youre teaching him how to soothe himself.
By talking about his intense emotions, youre helping him recognize them so he learns to control them himself.
But critics of time-ins say that they arent always effective.
Some kids get overly wound up with a hug or a conversation about feelings, no matter how short.
Time-ins might work best for toddlers under age 2 or even 3.
Most are parents too so theyll be more than happy to weigh in.
And remember, staying calm and loving is the key to a successful time-out and discipline in general.
July 5, 2022
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