But what should you say thats both encouraging and also empathetic to the struggle this person may be experiencing?
Key TakeawaysIVF can often be a long process for families.Asking families things like “are you pregnant yet?”
or “can’t you just adopt?”
I think a big one for me was, Just relax, and it will happen.
MelissaPerr8a
Just take a vacation itll happen when youre less stressed!
(I mean… anegg and spermstill need to meet to get pregnant and we have medical conditions.
So a vacation isnt a cure).
ninap38
At least you have options!
mmoore2486
2.
Youre having fertility problems because…
You arent trying hard enough.
PricklyPanda
3.
Why dont you adopt?
Plus, I want to experience labor and pregnancy for myself.
‘You’re young, you’ve got loads of time.’
Having to go through IVF when you are young makes you feel even more sorry for yourself.
You’ve potentially got years and years of IVF torture ahead before being advised to give up.
gettingthere
5.
Are you pregnant yet?
Are you pregnant yet, like it’s a guarantee.
I’ve been doing IVF for two years and have had seven transfers.
Two of them were successful but ended in the second trimester.
We went on to lose that pregnancy at 20 weeks, followed by losing my next transfer at 14.
Needless to say, no, we haven’t stopped being sad sacks yet… TAus89
6.
IVF is around 60% successful if everything goes RIGHT.
And often times most people need multiple rounds.
when we informed them of our IVF pursuit.
The comment was trying to be supportive, but it was the opposite of how we were feeling.
It felt so dismissive of all the pain weve experienced to even get to this point.
patiently-waiting22
After unsuccessful transfers and blighted ovums…‘well, at least you have more eggs.
babymagicivf
7.
Are you sure this is what you want?
Ive had three losses and one BFN [big fat negative] before my current pregnancy.
ReneeW25
If you think this is hard, just wait until youre pregnant!
Im sorry, have you done IVF to know how it feels?
And thats if I can even get pregnant, so lets not rub it in.
kb012345
Are you sure you want one of these?
(Pointing to their own kid.
Yes, Im sure I want one or wouldnt be going through the roller coaster of IVF).
ninap38
‘Well, at least if it doesn’t work, you have two other kids.
What moms really need during the IVF process is a shoulder to lean on no matter what.
Sometimes, a failed pregnancy will cause people to shut down.
And maybe seeing or hearing how tired you are with your baby can be painful for her.
But most of all, do whatever she needs.
MnMbaby2023
Mainly, its helpful to follow her lead.
If she wants to talk about the process, listen, ask questions and be interested.
Simply agreeing with her if she ever says this sucks, because it really does.
The reassurance that you’re there for them no matter what goes a long way.
